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16 Types

ENTJ Relationships

How ENTJ types approach relationships

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As extraverts, ENTJs are at their best and most refreshed when with others. A stimulating conversation, a battle of wits, or conversations about the abstract problems that need solving are all within the ENTJ's topics of choice. Other personality types can be intimidated by the ENTJ's confidence and candor. Expressing emotions and interpreting others' feelings can be challenging, as the ENTJ usually separates emotion from their logical decision-making process.


ENTJ's Attitude to Relationships

How do ENTJ types approach relationships?

The ENTJ is usually candid in their communication and will value a partner aiming high for their own goals. They are forward-thinkers and treat their relationships with the same long-range focus. ENTJs treat relationships seriously, and once their partner has passed the initial vetting process, they are likely to take charge of the connection to ensure it succeeds, as they do with their professional work.

This personality type is often quick to share criticism, as a form of feedback, in their professional life and may do so in their relationships as well. When the ENTJ shares criticism, it is meant to be helpful but can be misinterpreted by others.

An ENTJ type is likely to:

  • Be straightforward with their communication
  • Seek someone equally driven to growth or self-improvement
  • Be perceived as unfeeling or emotionally-guarded
  • Take charge to ensure the success of the relationship
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The ENTJ may not be willing to reveal the extent of their feelings until they feel completely safe with their partner.


ENTJs and Dating

How do ENTJ types fare in the dating world?

Because of their direct style of communication, dating is a straightforward process for the ENTJ. Their partners rarely need to guess what's on the ENTJ's mind. As they are achievement-focused, once they find a suitable partner, they will be ready and willing to take control to ensure it is built on solid foundations. ENTJs can often disregard their emotions when making a decision, which is also true in their relationships. If they suspect their partner is not a good fit for the long haul, they can act decisively and move on. This emotional detachment can be a challenge if their partner is hoping for someone more emotionally available.

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The ENTJs see emotion as a fog that clouds rational, logical judgment, and this perspective can cause friction with those that think less logically.

The relentless pursuit of achievement can be a weakness for their relationship if they cannot separate themselves from their work to spend time with their partner. However, making time for their partner is easy when an ENTJ can reframe their relationship as a part of their achievement pursuit.

Info Table
Beneficial dating traits Negative dating traits
ENTJs are committed partners. ENTJs can be quick to cut ties if they believe their partner is not a good fit.
ENTJs exude confidence. ENTJs can be emotionally walled.
ENTJs are willing to chart the course of the relationship. ENTJs aren't naturally adept at reading others' emotions.
ENTJs are direct and open communicators. ENTJs are not necessarily spontaneous.
ENTJs have little interest in short term relationships. ENTJs could blow out of proportion a disagreement because of their strong will.

ENTJ Partner Compatibility

Analysis of personality compatibility for ENTJ types

ENTJs can find and act upon solutions to any problem, so there is no type that the ENTJ can not adapt to. However, the essential qualities for the ENTJ to find in a partner are ambition and communication, so they will not choose anyone to partner with. If ENTJs get paired together, challenges can arise if one or both partners cannot adequately share emotion.

ENTJs can find attractive opposites in those that have the Feeling aspect. The ENTJ is logical and capable of making decisions without emotion. Still, they can be better off if they have a partner in their corner, helping them better understand, use, and express feelings.

Figure 1: ENTJ partner compatibility

Percentage compatibility between ENTJ and other types

entj compatibility

What this chart shows

This chart shows an estimate of the compatibility between ENTJ types and other types. We see that ENTJ types are most likely to be compatible with other ENTJs, and least likely to be compatible with an ISFP. This 'like-minds' effect is often the case (see Figure 2 below).

Notes:
  • 1. n=3297
  • 2. Population: Global
  • 3. Live dataset last updated:
  • 4. The questionnaire asked participants to select the traits that they favor when thinking about their ideal romantic partner, and the traits were mapped to each of the 16 types.

Figure 2: 16 type model partner compatibility

Percentage compatibility between the 16 factor model (Myers Briggs®) types

mbti compatibility matrix

What this chart shows

This chart shows an estimate of the compatibility between Myers Briggs® types. Our research shows that the strongest match is usually with someone of the same type. Another general pattern we observe is extraverts are generally more compatible with other extraverts, and introverts are more compatible with other introverts. This data supports the adage "birds of a feather flock together” and discredits the often-quoted mantra "opposites attract".

Across almost all types, the most compatible combination is with someone of an identical type. Within this general trend, the degree of compatibility varies slightly. For example, the compatibility between two INFP types is very high (at 95%) whereas the compatibility between two INTJs is 86%. The only exception to the observation that the best match is with someone of the same type is for ESFP types. The researchers note that ESFP types do still strongly favor other extraverts.

Notes:
  • 1. n=3297
  • 2. Population: Global
  • 3. Live dataset last updated:
  • 4. The questionnaire asked participants to select the traits that they favor when thinking about their ideal romantic partner, and the traits were mapped to each of the 16 types.

Advice for dating as an ENTJ

How to have successful ENTJ relationships

As an ENTJ, the biggest dating challenge may be making time for it. Your charisma and extraverted personality will allow you to attract anyone you choose. When you've found someone that looks like a good fit, you'll be ready to do what it takes to create a healthy relationship.

As an ENTJ

  • green tick Do ask the other person about their long-term aspirations
  • green tick Do try seeing things from someone else's perspective
  • green tick Do cut your losses if you realize they will not be a good partner
  • green tick Do make time to grow your relationship; work will always be waiting for you
  • red cross Don't be afraid to open up emotionally
  • red cross Don't dominate the conversation
  • red cross Don't be afraid to take the lead in the relationship if you like the other person
  • red cross Don't share criticisms without considering the emotional impact

Advice for Partners of ENTJs

How to make an ENTJ fall in love with you

ENTJs can be loyal, reliable partners. Their ambition for achievement underpins all their endeavors, so finding a suitable partner and putting in the work to make it successful will come naturally to them. Be prepared to relinquish some control or compete alongside them to see who can make the relationship the most fulfilling for the other.

Being with an ENTJ

  • green tick Do take them at their word.
  • green tick Do share your big aspirations and how you plan to achieve them.
  • green tick Do engage in stimulating debate.
  • green tick Do share logical, actionable criticisms.
  • green tick Do be confident in your self-worth.
  • red cross Don't expect them to pick up on subtle emotional queues.
  • red cross Don't try to take charge all the time.

ENTJ Friendships

Principles of how ENTJ types behave in a friendship

ENTJs are natural-born leaders of projects, people, and organizations. To be a friend of theirs, you must also display some of the qualities they see and value in themselves. As extraverts, they often have wide social circles, but their close friends must meet specific criteria. Their friends are not those they happen upon, but people they have carefully chosen to incorporate into their lives because they have a shared love of self-improvement, achievement, or can hold their own in conversations about grand ideas. While the friends of an ENTJ will never doubt the fidelity of their relationship, they may at times feel usurped. The ENTJ is not naturally skilled in reading the emotions of others or in taking into account the emotional reaction of others.

blue star

Often ENTJs will seek out friendships with people very similar to themselves.

The ENTJ is a faithful companion, and while emotional intelligence isn't always their strength, logical problem-solving is. An ENTJ can usually devise a pragmatic solution for their friends' problems. A significant challenge for the ENTJ and their friends is the height of their expectations. ENTJs have a burning desire to rise to the high expectations they set for themselves, and they will hold their friends to the exact expectations, whether it's been asked of them or not. The challenge for the ENTJ is to understand that their criticisms may not always be as helpful as they intend, especially for more delicate personality types. Evolved ENTJs will recognize that tailoring their message to ensure it also checks the appropriate emotional boxes is logical to ensure their messages are received as intended.

quotation marks ENTJs may have difficulty understanding the perspectives of more delicate personalities.
Ellie Simmonds, MSc

ENTJs bring support, enthusiasm, and thought-provoking conversations to their friends. They propose and seek ideas that challenge. At the same time, they may appear argumentative, but this is a misperception of their ability to show passion towards an opinion without being emotionally attached to it. Although the ENTJ is not known for gushy emotional sharing, the friend of the ENTJ knows they have a faithful companion for two distinct reasons. First, the ENTJ chooses their friends with great care. Second, they will distance themselves from you if you cannot satiate their desire for deep and meaningful conversation. The fact that the ENTJ is with you is reason enough to trust that they enjoy spending time with you because they wouldn't choose to spend their time with anyone they didn't believe was worth it.


How ENTJs can Improve their Relationships with others

ENTJs becoming a better partner and friend

ENTJs can improve their relationships with others by accepting that not everyone will be as driven or logical as they are. With a desire to lead, learning the communication styles that work best for others will give them additional tools to use when commanding organizations.

As an ENTJ, this is what can be done to improve relationships with other people:

  • Try to empathize with the emotional state of others. This will guide the ENTJ on how to customize their communications for maximum efficacy.
  • Try to be less stubborn when confronting the opinions and ideas of others that don't initially make sense.
  • Try to be more accepting of others. Not everyone will be or want to be a superstar.
  • Try to be more patient when others don't meet exacting standards. People make mistakes.

 


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Ellie Simmonds, MSc

University of Bath, Psychology

Ellie Simmonds, MSc in Psychology from University of Bath. Ellie is an associate lecturer on psychometric assessments and has extensive knowledge of the 16-type model.