Ellie Simmonds, MSc
University of Bath, Psychology
Ellie Simmonds, MSc in Psychology from University of Bath. Ellie is an associate lecturer on psychometric assessments and has extensive knowledge of the 16-type model.
Not sure what Myers Briggs type you are? Take a free Jungian Type (16 types) test to find out what your type is.
ENFPs seek deep connections everywhere they go; they are genuinely interested in the dreams and aspirations of those around them. The interest becomes more focused on their close ties and romantic relationships. ENFPs will look for someone who indulges their need for flexibility and freedom and will seek a relationship that can be deepened over time.
The ENFP approaches a relationship as a natural extension of their social proclivities. While they already have a genuine enthusiasm for the dreams of others, they will want to get to know the soul of their chosen partner. The ENFP is usually skilled at reading people because of their interest in understanding everyone's motivations and inspirations. So, trusting their gut, they'll likely dive headfirst into a relationship they believe to be a good fit.
An ENFP type is likely to:
ENFPs are great at starting relationships. They seek others that bring excitement and those that are willing to share deep conversations that go beyond the mundane.
Dating comes easy to the ENFP, as their charisma often attracts others. The variety of new faces, new experiences, and unexpected circumstances play to the ENFPs desires. Once finding someone that piques their interest, the ENFP is likely to move quickly and demonstrate their true desires to the other person. As much as they seek to learn about others, they desire to share themselves with someone who seeks to understand them in the same way.
There is usually a strong desire for the ENFP to find a partner. The prospect of a relationship that can grow over time is well in line with their modus operandi.
For the ENFP, a partner provides a consistent outlet to share themselves and to learn the depths of another.
Challenges can come as a relationship matures and the routines of life move into the forefront of the relationship. Monotony is a mood killer for the ENFP. Addressing the dull parts of a relationship, like sharing expenses, and finding ways to add spice and variety to these processes, is critical for an ENFP to find long-term fulfillment in their relationship.
|Beneficial dating traits||Negative dating traits|
|ENFPs will want to understand their partner's hopes and dreams and will encourage them to pursue them.||ENFPs may struggle after the relationship's novelty has worn off.|
|ENFPs are candid when conveying their feelings of desire.||Always one to keep their options open, they may struggle in letting go of "what ifs" involving other potential partners.|
|ENFPs are able to attract others with wit and wordplay.||ENFPs don't enjoy rejection, and a relationship failure can chip away at their self-esteem.|
|Being flexible by nature, ENFPs can usually accommodate unconventional relationships.||ENFPs are often gregarious and may cause conflict with a partner that is the same.|
|ENFPs are open to sexual exploration with a partner they trust.||ENFP's passionate intensity may cause others to feel smothered.|
As an extravert, often the ENFP feels most comfortable with another extravert, if for no other reason than an alignment of social calendars. Yet, the most vital trait to share is Intuition rather than Sensing, as the sensing trait empowers that person to see things linearly, in a step-by-step process, as opposed to how the ENFP sees the world. Usually, ENFPs make an excellent match for one another.
ENFPs can find attractive opposites that rely on wisdom and knowledge over feeling. At times, the ENFP can make an unwise decision based on feeling alone, and a partner that's the opposite in this regard can provide proper guidance for the ENFP.
Figure 1: ENFP partner compatibility
Percentage compatibility between ENFP and other types
What this chart shows
This chart shows an estimate of the compatibility between ENFP types and other types. We see that ENFP types are most likely to be compatible with other ENFPs, and least likely to be compatible with an ISTJ. This 'like-minds' effect is often the case (see Figure 2 below).Notes:
Figure 2: 16 type model partner compatibility
Percentage compatibility between the 16 factor model (Myers Briggs®) types
What this chart shows
This chart shows an estimate of the compatibility between Myers Briggs® types. Our research shows that the strongest match is usually with someone of the same type. Another general pattern we observe is extraverts are generally more compatible with other extraverts, and introverts are more compatible with other introverts. This data supports the adage "birds of a feather flock together” and discredits the often-quoted mantra "opposites attract".
Across almost all types, the most compatible combination is with someone of an identical type. Within this general trend, the degree of compatibility varies slightly. For example, the compatibility between two INFP types is very high (at 95%) whereas the compatibility between two INTJs is 86%. The only exception to the observation that the best match is with someone of the same type is for ESFP types. The researchers note that ESFP types do still strongly favor other extraverts.Notes:
ENFPs can be great partners, but everyone has their faults. Appropriate foresight will avoid common pitfalls. An ENFP can emphasize their strengths and properly mitigate shortcomings.
ENFPs can make great partners. There are some challenges that their personality can bring to a relationship if left unchecked. When dating an ENFP, be prepared to embrace ambiguity, live presently, and live passionately.
ENFPs are equal opportunity engagers and usually have a wide circle of friends or several niche circles of friends. While the ENFP is inherently bored with small talk, their mastery of language will steer the conversation towards more intriguing topics. They seek genuine connection from everyone they meet, and they do this by asking about the drivers and motivations of others. Their friends are usually fun and exciting people that can embrace the present moment. It's friends like these that bring the most variety and unexpected fun into their lives. Because the ENFP reads others so well, they can attract extraverts and introverts alike. What makes a best friend to an ENFP is someone willing to dream big with them. Friends of the ENFP will undoubtedly feel that they truly know them, as an ENFP will not hesitate to bare their soul to someone they trust will appreciate the insight.
ENFPs can offer tremendous support to those they care about, but they also require a level of reciprocity. Understanding their nature can empower a friendship to blossom.
For the ENFP, the challenges of a relationship are the same challenges for a friendship. Newness, the unexpected, and variety are the fuels that drive the ENFP. When a friendship becomes less exciting, it can be challenging for the ENFP to maintain. In addition to this, the ENFP can feel strained if they believe they are putting more effort into the friendship than they receive. This pitfall can occur because the ENFP often goes against the FAA's recommendation to "put on your mask before helping others." When giving so much of themselves without a feeling of reciprocity in return, the ENFP can be left feeling frustrated.
ENFPs are extraverts, but require more alone time than any other extraverted personality type. Don't be put off when they suddenly need some space to themselves.
The ENFP can bring levity, wit, depth, warmth, optimism, and support to a friendship. ENFPs often see the positive potential in everyone. Their natural enthusiasm allows them to be a cheerleader in support of their friends' goals. As much as personal development is essential to them, it is just as important to them that they support the unique stories of others. The free-flowing nature of the ENFP brings a spark into the lives of friends with the ever-present possibility to transform any occasion into something new and exciting.
ENFPs tend to hold their inter-personal relationships in high regard and, in turn, can rely too strongly upon external validation from these relationships. A wise ENFP would give less significance to the opinion of others. A refocus on internal approval will empower the ENFP to be their best self and serve others in their desired ways.
As an ENFP, this is what can be done to improve relationships with other people:
University of Bath, Psychology