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Enneagram Type 7 Relationships: In Love and Friendships

How to be in a relationship with a Type 7 Enneagram

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Especially at healthy levels of personal development, any Enneagram type can be compatible with any other type. That said, some romantic pairings are statistically more common and/or successful than others. Below is a description of the potential benefits and challenges of each possible pairing showing you who an Enneagram Type 7 is most compatible with.


Type 7 Compatibility Analysis

Who is an Enneagram Type 7 most compatible with?

In this study, participants completed our enneagram type questionnaire, and were asked to describe their ideal partner using the key personality dimensions which determines a person's enneatype. This allowed to identify both the participants’ enneatypes and the enneatypes of their preferred romantic partners. From this, we are able to determine the compatibility of different enneatypes by gauging how mutually attractive they are to one another.

For example, if Type Ones and Type Twos rate each other as highly attractive, that indicates a high degree of compatibility. Similarly, if Type Ones and Twos rate each other as unattractive, that indicates a low degree of compatibility. And lastly, if Type Ones and Twos rate each other as moderately attractive, or if both Types gave opposite ratings of attractiveness to each other, that would indicates a moderate degree of compatibility. Below we report our findings on Enneagram type compatibility.

Figure 1: Percent compatibility analysis for Type Seven relationships

relationships compatibility

What this chart shows

This chart shows an estimate of how compatible Type Sevens are with other types. Our research suggests that Type Sevens are in fact most compatible with other Type Sevens. This is because Type Sevens consistently rated other Type Sevens as the most desirable romantic partners. After other Type Sevens, Type Fours and Fives were also found to be highly compatible. This is because Type Sevens and Type Fours / Fives mutually rate each other as desirable, suggesting a high degree of compatibility.

Our research also suggests that Type Sixes, Ones and Threes are the least compatible with Type Sevens. This is because Type Sevens and Type Sixes / Ones / Threes mutually rate each other as undesirable, suggesting a low degree of compatibility.

Lastly, our findings suggest that Type Nines, Twos, and Eights show moderate compatibility with Type Sevens. This is either because Type Sevens and Type Nines / Twos / Eights mutually find each other only moderately desirable, or there is a large difference between how desirable each Type perceives the other.

Notes:
  • 1. n=1,301
  • 2. Population: global
  • 3. Live dataset last updated:

Let us compare this to the results for all Enneagram types using our Enneagram compatibility matrix:

Figure 2: Percent compatibility analysis for Enneagram types

enneagram compatibility matrix

What this chart shows

This chart shows two major findings. Firstly, across all enneatypes, the most compatible combination is universally that same enneatype. This is because every enneatype found their own enneatype to be more attractive than any other, resulting in the highest levels of compatibility. Although this trend is universal, the degree of compatibility does vary slightly. For example, Type Twos and Fours found their own enneatype to be especially attractive, with compatibility ratings of 97%. However, Type Eights only show an 84% compatibility rating with other Type Eights, albeit still higher than with other enneatypes.

Secondly, we see that the degree of similarly largely determines the degree of compatibility. For example, Type Twos and Type Nines are highly similar personality types, both showing high levels of agreeableness, cooperation, and team orientation. We can clearly see that Type Twos and Type Nines are highly compatible, mutually rating each other as attractive. However, Type Eights and Type Nines are very different, showing polar opposite levels of assertiveness, competitiveness, and emotional volatility. As a result, Type Eights and Type Nines mutually rate each other as undesirable, making them less compatible.

Both of these key findings suggest that interpersonal attractiveness is heavily based on similarity, rather than difference. Among all enneatypes, the correlation between the degree of interpersonal similarity and ratings of desirability was found to be .82, suggesting a very strong association. This provides evidence for the old adage, “Birds of a feather flock together”, and discredits the alternative notion that “Opposites attract”.

Notes:
  • 1. n=1,301
  • 2. Population: global
  • 3. Live dataset last updated:

Remember this data is aggregate data collected by people's self-report of relationship success coupled with our research into personality type theory. Understandably there will exist many happy and successful relationships between people who have 'low' compatibility. Personality type is just one factor to a successful relationship, and there is a high level of variance in the data. There will be outliers and exceptions; this data is merely propensity to a successful match. If only love could be explained entirely through science!


Type 1 and Type 7 Relationships

How compatible are Type 7s in a relationship with Type 1s?

A Type 7 and Type 1 relationship is usually present certain unique challenges. Type Ones believe that things should be perfect while Type Sevens believe that they already are – or soon will be. Both types are going places. Thrilling adventures with a functional purpose make excellent common ground for these two types. The Type Seven happily moves from one experience to the next while the Type One is satisfied to be making progress toward the goal.

While Type Ones idealize the finality of perfection, Type Sevens dream of new options and opportunities on an ever-expanding horizon. Type Ones, who become relaxed and playful like Type Sevens when things are going well, get permission from their Type Seven partners to enjoy the journey though they may never fully arrive at the destination.

Type Ones bring substance to the Type 1 and Type 7 relationship while Type Sevens bring all the fun. Practical Type Ones can see right through the wishful thinking of Type Sevens, and they have a positive influence when they encourage their Type Seven partners to have a real positive impact rather than merely creating a show.

quotation marks Sevens and Ones are somewhat opposites when it comes to their values and ways of being. But this can be positive if they compliment these differences.
Chloe Yarwood, MSc

However, if there is stress in the relationship, Type Ones becomes more critical and judgmental of their partner, which leads to problems. Soon Type Ones could begin to see Type Sevens as undisciplined and messy, prone to fooling around too much, and not giving things the focus and attention that Ones feel they should. Equally, Sevens see Ones as too uptight and inflexible and not accepting of anything outside of their purview.

When issues and worries come up, Type Ones may suddenly fall back on rules and order – anathema to Type Sevens, especially when the two were just having so much fun. This relationship has a strong chance of succeeding if boundaries and any needed restrictions are agreed to. Although Type Sevens are usually reluctant to make promises, they do take vows very seriously and can be counted on to keep their word.


Type 2 and Type 7 Relationships

How compatible are Type 7s in a relationship with Type 2s?

Types Seven and Two are both charming and optimistic. Type Twos are highly versatile, so they often readily engage with the various interests and activities of Type Sevens. Helpers enjoy taking a supportive role and often make excellent companions on the fun adventures of their Type Seven partners.

Enthusiasts are confident and upfront about their goals. When Type Twos gain the trust of Type Seven partners, they are in a unique position to serve them on a deeper level. Throughout their lives, Type Twos develop a keen ability to see and respond to the needs of other individuals. Type Sevens develop a sunny persona that is usually effective in distracting others as well as themselves from their deeply buried pain and dissatisfaction. Like expert surgeons, Helpers create a safe space for Enthusiasts to slow down, focus inward, and heal.

Putting good into the world

Type Sevens and Twos share an idealism that is translated into their altruistic action, offering a positive impact to the world

However, Twos and Sevens have a differing levels of domesticity and commitment that can make the relationship difficult. While the Two will like the idea of quiet moments together, being at home, and settling down, the Seven partner will start to fidget and become increasingly uncomfortable with the idea of resting. Sevens are able to commit long-term, but are unlikely to be happy about it. Sevens are interested in new experiences and may feel that their relationship has become something of a chore, predictable and stale. Unhealthy Twos will then cling onto the relationship ever tighter which in turn makes the Seven partner feel trapped.

Type 2 and Type 7 relationships usually coalesce around something the Enthusiast is doing or wants to do, and they terminate amicably when the project is finished. Neither Enthusiasts nor Helpers are particularly enthusiastic about long-term commitments. Type Sevens don't relish the idea of the limitations that committed relationships bring, while Type Twos fear that at some point their usefulness will run out if they stay with one partner for too long. Stability in the relationship is attained when both partners take the terrifying plunge into the depths of their emotional needs.


Type 3 and Type 7 Relationships

How compatible are Type 7s in a relationship with Type 3s?

Type Threes and Type Sevens are a particularly difficult combination of Enneatypes. The achiever brings a big-picture focus to the couple's activities while the Enthusiast brings pleasure and new options for goals and projects, making it easier for the Type Three to accept failure and move on to something else when their efforts don't yield the results they hoped for. Type Threes are often so focused on making an impression that they forget to have fun in the process, so the contribution that Type Sevens bring is often very much appreciated. Together, Type Sevens and Type Threes get a lot done.

Both types tend to neglect skill development when it comes to facing and tackling difficult issues. Industrious Type Threes use busyness as a distraction while Type Sevens apply quick fixes and convince themselves that any problems they’re having really aren't so bad. It can take a major financial crisis or parenting disaster to get this couple to slow down and pay attention, but it won't take long for these optimists to pick up the pieces.

quotation marks For a Type 3 and Type 7 relationship, constant pressure to appear to be at their best can put strain on themselves individually as well as together.
Chloe Yarwood, MSc

However, a Type 3 and Type 7 relationship is likely to be volatile. And their constant pressure to appear to be at their best can put strain on them individually as well as together. If Threes start to focus too much on their careers, and Sevens too much on busy, social activities, then any time left for the relationship starts be ill-used.

Time flies when you’re keeping busy and having fun. If they don't put some effort into maintaining shared interests, this couple may not realize, as the years go by, that they have been gradually growing apart and becoming strangers to each other. Although Type Sevens feel uncomfortably restricted by having to schedule activities, it will do more good than harm to establish daily or weekly sessions in which the two catch up on recent events in their lives while sharing a fun activity together.


Type 4 and Type 7 Relationships

How compatible are Type 7s in a relationship with Type 4s?

Buoyant and optimistic Type Sevens are often fascinated by Type Fours who are at home on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum. Individualists savour feelings of melancholy, longing, and nostalgia, which Type Sevens view as exotic experiences. Both love a good funeral. Type Sevens admire Fours for their emotional depth and like to think that they are comfortable with the full range of emotions and often mistype themselves as Fours.

Many people, whatever their type, encounter difficulty in their relationships with Type Sevens because of their reluctance to commitment, their aversion to routines and because they are so often distracted by interests outside the relationships. Type Fours, although they long for things to be better between themselves and their Type Seven partners, are long suffering throughout. If the Type Seven were around all the time, the Type Four would never have an opportunity to miss them.

letter i in grey circle for information point

Type Sevens admire Fours for their emotional depth and like to think that they are comfortable with the full range of emotions and often mistype themselves as Fours.

However, while the melancholy of Type Four is an experience that Type Sevens don't mind dabbling in on occasion, just for something different, the sadness and despair quickly lose their charm. It can be unsettling for a Type Seven to realize that this is the place their Type Four partner comes from, as their default, not an interesting place that they go to. If the Type Sevens efforts to raise their partner's mood fail, this relationship could be in trouble.

When these two opposites not only attract but find a middle ground where they can learn from each other, each developing a relationship with their own emotional heights and depths, their mutual respect and admiration become a cherished bond.


Type 5 and Type 7 Relationships

How do Type 5 and Type 7 get along?

Sociable Type Sevens and Reclusive Type Fives are not as unlikely a couple as one might expect, as they meet along their arrows of integration. When restless Type Sevens are at peace, they behave like healthy Type Fives. The quiet contentment of five is the point pleasure-seeking Type Sevens relax into when they are at peace with themselves and the world.

Contrary to what you might expect, a Type 5 and Type 7 relationship is often initiated by the Type Five. When Type Fives become agitated, they react like adventurous and convivial Type Sevens. Under stress, Investigators not only behave like Type Sevens, they also gravitate toward Enthusiasts for company.

dim bulb

Contrary to what you might expect, a Type 5 and Type 7 relationship is often initiated by the Type Five.

A Type 5 and Type 7 relationships is most functional when the couple oscillate between the two points together. Type Fives teach Type Sevens the value in sitting quietly with their own thoughts, present to each moment even when not much is going on. Type Sevens can be very effective at enticing Type Fives out of their own private minds and into social activity.

quotation marks Type Sevens can be very effective at enticing Type Fives out of their own private minds and into social activity.
Chloe Yarwood, MSc

Moreover, both types live in the world of the mind, and mutual appreciation for each other's interests can help keep Five-Seven relationships alive. Lively discussions, musings, and “what if” conversations can be quite stimulating for both. The ideas that briefly fascinate Type Sevens on their explorations are brought home and extensively researched by Type Fives.

Without a dedicated effort to maintaining their relationships, Investigators and Enthusiasts can gradually drift apart as they follow their different interests – The Type Five is preoccupied with abstract concepts or scientific theories while the Type Seven pursues thrilling experiences.


Type 6 and Type 7 Relationships

How compatible are Type 7s in a relationship with Type 6s?

While cautious Type Sixes prepare for the worst, fun-loving Type Sevens deal with their fear of pain by planning exciting and pleasurable experiences. This pairing of opposites does not need to be as doomed as it may first appear, especially if the Type Seven leans into their six wing and the Type Six has a robust seven wing.

A Type Seven's fear of being pinned down by commitments can be unnerving for Type Sixes who want to be reassured that entrusting a new partner with their affection won't lead to betrayal, so effective communication is one early and crucial challenge in Type 6 and Type 7 relationships.

quotation marks This pairing of opposites does not need to be as doomed as it may first appear, especially if the Type Seven leans into their six wing and the Type Six has a robust seven wing.
Chloe Yarwood, MSc

The unchecked imagination of a worried Type Six overemphasizes difficult times ahead, and Type Sevens often use positivity to distract them from the severity of problems. Using effective communication, a Type 6 and Enneagram Type 7 in love can bring each other back to a more realistic middle ground.

letter i in grey circle for information point

Using effective communication, a Type 6 and Type 7 in love can bring each other back to a more realistic middle ground.

However, ineffective communication will leave a Loyalist believing that their Enthusiast partner doesn't care about important issues while the Enthusiast comes away with the impression that their Loyalist is hopelessly stuck in negativity. Quick thinking Type Sevens can be a great source of solutions. A dismayed Type Six will observe that most of the ideas their Type Seven partner offers aren't exactly appropriate, and a common complaint is that the Type Seven has not taken time to fully understand the problem before trying to be rid of it. A Type Seven's helpfulness can feel like the brush-off to a sincerely worried Type Six. Growth occurs when an Enthusiast learns from their Loyalist partner to stay with problems long enough to devise real solutions.


Double Type 7 Relationships

How compatible are double Type 7s in a relationship?

Most Type Sevens have an impressive quantity of friends, and most of those friends are fellow Type Sevens. These relationships are based on shared activities and interests rather than needs, convenience, or intimacy. In any romantic relationship a Type Seven enters, it's usually the other partner that initiates commitment. Double Enneagram Type 7 relationships can sometimes be prone to not outlasting the initial spark, but if they do, they can be full of fun and adventure.

An opportunity for growth arises when two Type Sevens in a relationship each see the other as a mirror showing how their behaviors affect others. Type Sevens are well-aware of their positive qualities and they are very good at ignoring their weaknesses. In their partners, they may be surprised to see their own insensitivity, manipulation, how easily they are distracted, and tendency to avoid difficult issues and messy emotions. Sensitive at their core, they may be hurt when a certain familiar insensitivity or flippant attitude if reflected back at them in their partner's behavior.

An opportunity for growth?

An opportunity for growth arises when two Type Sevens in a relationship each see the other as a mirror showing how their behaviors affect others.

However, the main hurdle to a double Enneagram Type 7 relationship is their combined impatience. Both partners will have high expectations for the relationship and will not lack the energy to make it grow, but they may lack the motivation to build it, preferring instead to focus their attention on the more immediate and gratifying.

quotation marks The main hurdle to a double Enneagram Type 7 relationship is their combined impatience.
Chloe Yarwood, MSc

When Type Sevens do commit, you can be sure that they aren't settling for anything less than what they consider their ideal relationship, and they take their few commitments in life very seriously. Type Sevens who have resolved to make their relationships last are wise to recognize that conventional structures aren't going to work for them in order to keep things spontaneous and avert boredom. They often come up with creative strategies to keep themselves and their partners interested. Count on Type Sevens to write the least conventional wedding vows.


Type 8 and Type 7 Relationships

How compatible are Type 7s in a relationship with Type 8s?

Challengers and Enthusiasts are both freedom-loving types with high energy and a strong zest for life. Like Type Sevens, Type Eights object to limitations, but there is an exciting element of defiance and daring in their attitude that fascinates Type Sevens.

Type Sevens will come up with clever excuses and rationalizations to sidestep the rules, while Type Eights will simply overpower anyone who stands in their way. Type Eights value honesty, and they may become upset when they perceive their Type Seven partner's playful bending of the rules as lying. Type Eights expect loyalty, and they find Type Seven's fickleness and noncommittal attitude unsettling. Type Sevens feel that they should be allowed to change their mind.

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When stressed, a Type Eight may provoke their partner purely for the challenge of experiencing their wrath.

However, at unhealthy levels, Type Eights try to minimize the control others in their lives as a way to ensure that no one will be able to control them. This behavior will only push a Type Seven away, either that or it will initiate serious fights.

Both are assertive and direct, but where Enthusiasts skim the surface of issues rather than facing challenges head on, Challengers come to life at the opportunity for a good fight and are eager to get to the root of any obstacle in their path. When the two work together, Type Eights learn the value of levity while Type Sevens learn to face their most terrifying fears.


Type 9 and Type 7 Relationships

How compatible are Type 7s in a relationship with Type 9s?

Like Type Sevens, Type Nines are open-minded and take a broad view of any proposition. While Type Sevens are scanning the horizon for new opportunities, Type Nines are integrating various points of view into their understanding of the world around them. Enthusiasts introduce their Peacemaker partners to intriguing new worlds. They appreciate the complexity and depth that a Type Nine's perspective brings.

Type Nines usually find relationships with Type Sevens exhausting. They prefer to keep a much more relaxed pace than their Type Seven partners, but they will make the effort to keep up because they cherish the intimacy of shared experiences and merged points of view. Type Nines will eventually return to their pace and withdraw to comfortable routines in the privacy of home, they may be dismayed to see that their Type Seven partner doesn't reciprocate their desire to share all of life's experiences – the mundane as well as the exciting.

letter i in grey circle for information point

When in motion, Type Six and Nine relationships are capable of balancing, supporting, and complementing each other beautifully.

However, both types tend to have a similar challenge of working through negativity within their lives and their relationships. Both types prefer maintaining a level of positivity, even if it is not deserved under the current circumstances. And since both types may suffer from this blindness, founding a way to fix and resolve issues both personally and in their relationship can be difficult.

quotation marks Both Type Sevens and Type Nines struggle with starting an engagement to combat issues that they have.
Chloe Yarwood, MSc

Type Nines are usually content to keep their rich inner worlds to themselves. They don't express their own opinions easily, and on the rare occasions when they have something to share they feel deeply personal about it. A Type Seven who is not aware of this may inadvertently cause a lot of heartache when they give their customary witty response or quick brush-off when their Type Nine partner suggests settling in with an old favorite movie. Fortunately, neither are they type to hold a grudge. The Type Nine will readily forgive and forget once they've come to understand their Type Seven, and Type Seven is not one to dwell on past troubles.


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Chloe Yarwood, MSc

University of Chichester, Advanced Applied Psychology

Chloe Yarwood, MSc in Advanced Applied Psychology from University of Chichester. Specialist in personality type theory and developing valid personality questionnaires.