What Should I Do With My Life? A Guide To Finding Purpose

Finding purpose in life can feel like navigating an intricate maze without a map. For years, I grappled with the same uncertainty, believing everyone else had discovered some secret roadmap to fulfillment. Spoiler alert: most people are winging it, crafting their journey with the same mix of hope and uncertainty you're experiencing right now. Together, let's break down this complex journey—step by step—and help you uncover your unique path.

Step 1: Assess Where You Are Now

Take a moment to pause and reflect on your life as it is today. This isn’t about judging yourself or feeling guilty—it’s about creating a clear picture of your starting point. Consider these critical questions:

• What are my current responsibilities and priorities?
• Am I happy with my daily routine? If not, what specifically feels unfulfilling?
• What do I spend most of my time and energy on? Does it align with what truly matters to me?

To gain clarity, perform this exercise right now: document everything you do during a typical week, tracking time spent on each activity. Then, conduct a ruthless audit of your schedule, highlight activities that don't contribute to your personal growth or align with your goals. Are your current habits genuine sources of joy, or merely comfortable distractions? You might discover you're defaulting to video games out of habit, or losing hours to mindless television instead of pursuing more meaningful endeavors.

Once you’ve identified these potential time-sinks (unproductive activities), think about how you might redirect some of that time and energy. Could you replace unproductive habits with activities that fulfill you or help you grow? This could be anything from learning an instrument or picking up a new skill, to reading books that expand your perspective or incorporating regular exercise to improve your physical and mental well-being. Small intentional shifts in how you spend your time can lead to significant changes in how you feel about your life.

The unexamined life is not worth living.

Self-awareness is the cornerstone of meaningful transformation. As Socrates wisely observed, "The unexamined life is not worth living." True growth begins with honest introspection. By understanding your current position, you can begin bridging the gap between your present reality and the life you aspire to create

Step 2: How Did You Get Here?

Mapping the path that brought you to your current life can reveal powerful insights into your decision-making patterns. By examining past choices, you can identify recurring themes and potential areas for personal growth. Here are some questions to reflect on:

• What decisions, big or small, shaped my current life?
• Were these decisions driven by genuine passion, practical necessity, or external pressures?
• If you could revisit key moments, what might you do differently?

Reflecting on your journey isn’t about assigning blame but about recognizing recurring themes. For example, if your choices have consistently been guided by external expectations, you might want to explore what would happen if you started making decisions based on your internal desires.

It's never too late to correct mistakes. If you do discover things you wish you had done differently, maybe try and pursue those things now in later life.

Step 3: Revisit Childhood Dreams

As children, we often dream freely, unburdened by practicality or fear. Those early dreams can can serve as a compass, pointing toward your most authentic desires and potential. Sometimes the responsibilities and burdens of life can distract us from our true passions and dreams. Ask yourself these questions to see if they help you identify what you might want to do in life:

• What careers or adventures captivated your imagination as a child?
• Which of those childhood passions still spark excitement today?
• Have I lost touch with any passions I once had? If so, why?

Your childhood dreams may not lead directly to a career, but they can help you reconnect with what brings you joy.

The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.

Step 4: Identify What Inspires You

Inspiration can be a powerful guide. Some people have a strong yearning to make a difference in the world. Pay attention to the things and people that make you feel excited, energized, or deeply moved. Here are some questions to reflect on which may help highlight a passion you have:

• Who or what inspires me the most? Why do they resonate with me?
• Are there causes, people, or ideas that ignite my passion?

Look for moments when you feel deeply connected to something bigger than yourself. Whether it’s a cause you believe in or a creative pursuit that makes you lose track of time, these instances can point you toward your purpose. As Maya Angelou said, "You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have."

You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.

Step 5: Explore Your Hobbies and Joys

This step may have some crossover with some of the things you explored in step 4. Your inspirations and passions in life may be rooted in your hobbies and favourite activities. The activities that bring you joy can often point toward your purpose. So ask yourself these important questions:

• What activities make me lose track of time?
• Which hobbies or interests bring me genuine happiness?
• What activities or experiences make me feel truly alive?
• Could these passions translate into a career or meaningful pursuit?

Hobbies aren’t just distractions—they’re windows into what makes you tick. If you love photography or volunteering, consider how these passions might play a bigger role in your life. Sometimes, our hobbies are the seeds of a fulfilling future. Now these don't have to suddenly become your careers, they may just be something that should occupy a larger amount of your free time to keep you energized and motivated.

Step 6: Envision Your Future Self

Okay, now this is my favourite exercise and one that I frequently do myself. Imagine the person you want to be in five years (but not in the boring interview question sense of 'where do you see yourself in 5 years'). Think about what a happy life for you in five years would look like, every single detail you can think of. Here are some questions to answer about your future life to help guide your imagination:

• Where do I live and what do I do for work?
• What relationships and friendships do I have (romantic partner / close-knit friends / big groups of friends)?
• What activities do I get up to on a weekly basis?
• What values and traits do I want to embody?
• What skills and abilities do I have?

Write out in detail the life you hope you will lead, this not only helps you clarify your goals but also acts as a motivational reminder when you geel stuck.

Now this is the important part: Once you have imagined this future life, work out what steps you will have to take to get there. Maybe you dreamed of owning your own apartment and you've learnt how to play the guitar, or paint; maybe on the weekends you're part of a sports team. Work out what steps you would have to take each week to make each of those become your reality. This can help guide you on how to meaningfully spend your time to realize a future which you dream of.

A goal without a plan is just a wish.

Mapping out those steps

Break down your ambitious goal into smaller, achievable milestones. Ask yourself: "What specific, actionable steps can I take weekly to gradually improve my skills?" By creating a structured pathway, you transform an overwhelming objective into a series of manageable challenges.

Here are some key principles for effective goal tracking:

• Setting realistic, incremental goals
• Tracking your progress systematically
• Avoiding self-pressure
• Celebrating small victories

Progress doesn't require dramatic leaps or instant mastery. Consistent, modest improvements compound over time, leading to significant transformation. Consider the learning journey like building a mosaic - each small piece contributes to the larger picture.

For instance, if you dream of becoming a chef, your first step could be taking a local cooking class or simply experimenting more with recipes at home.

Step 8: Embrace Uncertainty

There's no questions to ask yourself for this one! Just a reminder that the journey toward purpose is rarely straightforward. Embrace the idea that uncertainty is part of the process. There will be hiccups on the way, and maybe your actions will lead you to discovering other new things which take you on a new path you hadn't imagined.

As author Rainer Maria Rilke wrote, "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves." The answers will come in time. Remember, the search for purpose is a journey, not a destination.

Step 9: Relinquish the Pressure to Be "Special"

The final step in our journey is both liberating and profound. In a world that often glorifies extraordinary achievements, it's crucial to recognize the value of authenticity and personal contentment. With social media and a culture of idolising celebrities, it's easy to feel immense pressure to emulate these "successes". But not everyone is destined to be Brad Pitt or Simone Biles, and that’s not only okay—it can be deeply freeing.

It might be that this pressure is causing you to set aspirational goals so high they're making you feel inadequate when you struggle to reach them. A question to ponder is 'Am I simply chasing external validation?', maybe you can find joy and fulfillment in being true to yourself and forgetting about societal expectations?

This often means giving up some grandiose ideas about yourself: that you’re uniquely intelligent, or spectacularly talented, or intimidatingly attractive, or especially victimized in ways other people could never imagine.

Letting go of this pressure allows you to take your own path, to live authentically and peacefully. Sometimes, the most meaningful life is a "normal" one that aligns with your values, not society’s expectations.

Conclusion: Chartig Your Unique Path

As we conclude our exploration of "What Should I Do With My Life," remember that finding purpose is a deeply personal journey. It's not about conforming to societal expectations or achieving predetermined milestones. Instead, it's about understanding yourself, your values, and what truly brings you fulfillment.

Your life's purpose isn't a destination; it's an evolving journey of self-discovery and growth. It may change as you do, adapting to new experiences and insights. The key is to remain open, reflective, and true to yourself.

Key Takeaways to Remember:

• Your purpose is unique to you
• It's okay if your path looks different from others
• Small, intentional changes can lead to significant personal growth
• Balance personal fulfillment with your role in your community

As you move forward, carry with you the tools and insights from each step we've explored. Use them to navigate life's challenges, make decisions aligned with your values, and find joy in your unique journey.

Ultimately, the most meaningful life is one that resonates with your authentic self, bringing you peace, purpose, and fulfillment. Trust in your journey, embrace your authenticity, and let your unique purpose unfold.